Dang!!!

God is really really really good to me!!!

His blessings are just all over the place. I come into the festival all excited and expecting a lot. However, there were just my expectations, I was telling God: "so here is what I planed to do, and you can try to squeeze yourself into it, and try to do it. " I layed by agenda in front of God and gave him a task to do, pretending I was doing all these for him. However I was just doing those to get the "feeling" of God. I wanted him to surrender himself to carry out my plans instead of me surrenderring myself for his plans. It was a pretty big slap that God gave me that helped me realized what I was thinking and expecting.

I come here "prepared", but nothing was as good as I expected: didn't have a good attitude on the bible study, flobbed my performance, morning prayer is aweful.... I was completely sucked into my bitterness and dwelling in it. I was complaining to everyone I could possibly complain to. On the surface, I was seeking God, but really, I was seeking to fulfill my own satisfaction. When I realized that I was bitter, I got more bitter, because I could not do anything about my bitterness. However, his promise is as living as it was thousands of years ago. And he revealed it through music.

I was in a concert where the first chair violinist from the New York Philharmonic orchestra was performing a concerto. As I was listening, a lot of the promises just came to me. Especially the ones from Exodus, where God is the cloud guiding the Jews out of Egypt. I felt like He was the guide leading me out of the bitterness that Satan wanted me to dwell in. I was slapped in the face because I just altered God's status with mine thinking that I was all righteous. Hwoever, God said that: "who do you think you are to order me to do things? Who do you think you are to go into something completely without asking me and without my presence? " I was just so awakened by the piece, and the message God sent me through it. I am a hypocrit. I don't deserve his blessings, yet, right after I realized these, his blessing started coming out at me. The are like snowballs that came and hit right on my face. I was invited to a student-led prayer gathering, and it's just us, some musicians sitting with each other and sharing. I was able to share what I gone through and encourage others, and was able to share it during bible study, with my roommates.

I was even blessed by the fact that God thinks I am ready for new trials. When me and my roommate Lara hung out with her friend, we found out that her friend didn't really believe in marriage, and thought it was okay to just live with someone. However, when Lara confronted her saying that the bible says the style was wrong, she wanted us to pull up a bible verse. Neither of us could think of a verse right on top of our heads. So we came back and searched for it, and asked people. God sent us Eric that he was able to quote the bible and tell us the passages. God also showed me how much I needed to crave for his words, and how deep I need to carve them in my heart.

so the verses are:
Ephesians 5:3
Genesis 2:24
1 Corinthians 6:9 12-20
(in context)

Praise the Lord!! He is sooooooo good!!!