I have about 1.5 years left on my visa term. what does that mean? That means if I don't find a job during senior year or a little after, I am getting on an air plane and going back to China.
I was talking to someone about the freedom of choice. We came to the conclusion that people only complain about the lack of freedom when they are jealous of other people's freedom of choice. I realize that's also the case for me.
I used to be worried that there's a possibility that I might HAVE TO go back to China--that I couldn't choose to stay. However, now I that I think about it, I'm happy that I don't get a choice myself. If God opens door for me to stay here then I will obey and stay. But I if don't get to stay, then that means God doesn't want me here. So if I force it, I won't be obeying God. That would be the ultimate suck--way more than not being able to stay here.
I would be sad to have to leave the place that I will have lived in for 7 years, and where I learned so much of God. But I am excited for the countdown! God is going to show me something exciting really soon!! College is like the "ready, set" and after college is the "go," wherever He wants me to go. I'm excited! :)
2011/01/27
Overthrow
Today God helped me realize a little more of why He wants me to keep piano--it is like a mirror that reflects my character.
So many of my struggles with piano are epitomes of what I experience in life. this week as I was getting ready to go into my lesson, because I didn't practice much, I was trying to find excuses to cancel the lesson. However, God convicted me to go. I went.
The reason why I didn't want to go is because I didn't want to see Dr. E disappointed. Also, I didn't want to hear him mad; it's kinda scary. However, God proved my wrong. Dr. E was really patient and helpful despite the lack of practice I had. The lesson went really well, in terms of the material we talked about, I learned a lot of practicing techniques. More than that, God used this lesson to show me a lot of my own character flaws that I wasn't paying attention to.
The problems about my playing points back to the way I practice. Dr. E was able to tell me right away how I practice from listening to me once. It was amazing how he could do that. What he pointed out about my practice was exactly some of the problems in my life. I was ashamed of them, but I am thankful that God pointed them out to me. They are the wholes in my pants. It was eye-opening to see.
Next time I should use a magnifying glass to see into the music school and extrapolate about my life. I think I am seeing a little more of God's purpose for me in the music school.
So many of my struggles with piano are epitomes of what I experience in life. this week as I was getting ready to go into my lesson, because I didn't practice much, I was trying to find excuses to cancel the lesson. However, God convicted me to go. I went.
The reason why I didn't want to go is because I didn't want to see Dr. E disappointed. Also, I didn't want to hear him mad; it's kinda scary. However, God proved my wrong. Dr. E was really patient and helpful despite the lack of practice I had. The lesson went really well, in terms of the material we talked about, I learned a lot of practicing techniques. More than that, God used this lesson to show me a lot of my own character flaws that I wasn't paying attention to.
The problems about my playing points back to the way I practice. Dr. E was able to tell me right away how I practice from listening to me once. It was amazing how he could do that. What he pointed out about my practice was exactly some of the problems in my life. I was ashamed of them, but I am thankful that God pointed them out to me. They are the wholes in my pants. It was eye-opening to see.
Next time I should use a magnifying glass to see into the music school and extrapolate about my life. I think I am seeing a little more of God's purpose for me in the music school.
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