Today in studio class, Dr. Ellis said something that made me think.
He told someone who had stage fright to practice being on stage. According to him, we are supposed to scare the daylight out of us every time and get used to the feeling so that when we actually go on stage, we won't be foreign to the feeling. This is a very logical approach.
But it's wrong!
We should never take his approach. You can never simulate the environment unless you are actually there, so practicing being in fear may help a little, but it doesn't solve the root of the problem. What if you are expecting a huge mass of audience, larger than ever before, how are you gonna simulate and get used to that? The experience is too rare and unusual to simulate. More importantly, why would you drench yourself with fear? What we should do, is that we should be drenched in the peace of God, and practice the have peace even when we are performing. As the bible says: "Perfect love drives out fear."--1 John 4:18. We have the love of God. And the love of God is with us wherever we are, including the stage. When we practice to have peace we would always be familiar with the environment--we are right in God's crib as usually. Nothing would be able to alarm us.
This goes with everything else in life. Instead of approaching struggles with fear, we should know that we are given peace. Even though on the outside, it looks all the same--that we are going through struggles(performing in my case). But the attitude we use in approaching them makes a huge difference.
I need to trust God and have peace. BUT IT'S SOOOOO HARD!!!
But God loves me to let me see what to do, and He's kind enough to show me how to do it :)
Piano is the microcosm of my life.
2011/11/30
2011/11/07
things God is trying to show me
1. obedience--cuz I have none, I like getting things my way. If they don't turn out the way I want, I manipulate to get my way. I have to stop that and just obey God and follow His way.
2. Waiting--I am not patient; that's part of the reason why I don't obey. Just wait Jean, the best will come later. Don't settle for anything less than the best. Have faith and wait.
3. Discipline--I am soooo not disciplined. I can't even commit to small things like waking up for morning prayer. If I can't get up for MP to meet the most important person in my life, how am I suppose to commit to waking up everyday for work?
4. Pure heart to desire God--This is interesting, flipped through a friend's bible, and there were tones of markings and side comments inside, and one of them really hit me:
"Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on." Mark 2:4
"because of the crowd" was underlined and on the side, it said:"people get in the way." Yup, that's exactly what was happening to me. I put God behind the crowd and I couldn't get to him. But he was always there reaching out to me and He asked me:"Jean, what happened to the child of mine who just cared about me? Where did that child go?"
He wants to be loved by me. He desires me, and wants me to desire Him, too. So simple. However, I put the crowd between us. But he is showing me where I should be... I should be on the roof where I could see him. I should climb over the whole crowd cuz they don't matter. My eyes should be set on Him... and Him alone.
2. Waiting--I am not patient; that's part of the reason why I don't obey. Just wait Jean, the best will come later. Don't settle for anything less than the best. Have faith and wait.
3. Discipline--I am soooo not disciplined. I can't even commit to small things like waking up for morning prayer. If I can't get up for MP to meet the most important person in my life, how am I suppose to commit to waking up everyday for work?
4. Pure heart to desire God--This is interesting, flipped through a friend's bible, and there were tones of markings and side comments inside, and one of them really hit me:
"Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on." Mark 2:4
"because of the crowd" was underlined and on the side, it said:"people get in the way." Yup, that's exactly what was happening to me. I put God behind the crowd and I couldn't get to him. But he was always there reaching out to me and He asked me:"Jean, what happened to the child of mine who just cared about me? Where did that child go?"
He wants to be loved by me. He desires me, and wants me to desire Him, too. So simple. However, I put the crowd between us. But he is showing me where I should be... I should be on the roof where I could see him. I should climb over the whole crowd cuz they don't matter. My eyes should be set on Him... and Him alone.
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