This is my Lot

I went to my aunt's house today. No acknowledgement, no eye contact, barely any conversation. The things we talked about were necessity, like scheduling.

Part of me hurt a little bit, part of me want to draw away, another part of me want to rebel. God said, Love. I have run out of my love for them. But God said, Love. Therefore, I will take up my cross and Love, when tomorrow comes again, I will love again. Love with God's love. It's my responsibility. My response to God.

This is just a start

I am in fetal position right now. I'm trying to defend myself, but I can't. God it hurts so much to face my family. So many oppositions, and gets harder right? Is this part of the cost you are trying to call me to pay? Is this my cross that I have to carry? If it is, please please God don't hide your face from me. God please don't let go of me.

I am handcuffed trying to break free, but I didn't know the metals would cut into my wrist and cause me to bleed. I stopped trying, thinking that the hurting might fade away. But I am still bleeding. It is still hurting. I have to break free somehow to completely stop the bleeding and be healed. God please teach me how.