Good Job Faithful Servant

So this is Rebi's challenge for us yesterday as we met as hospitality team. He challenged us when we stare at the ceiling before we go to sleep at night, to reflect on our day and see if God would say to us “good job my faithful servants! I am pleased with you.” As I was thinking and reflecting on that thought, I really cannot say that God is pleased with my serving this past year. The scripture says: “lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge him....” I don't think I did that very much.

Couple weeks ago, Nayoung drew this chart for me that really revealed to me what I have been doing. It's like a binomial model chart, where there are two branches, each represent two choices that people can make. First branch says lean on your own will, and the second says lean on God's will. Of those two choices, each choice had two more branches extending out from them, and they are the possible results that one could get from making those choice. If I choose to lean on my own will, then I either become prideful when I'm doing well, or become bitter when I'm not doing so well. The results from leaning on God's will is when I'm doing well, I give glory to God, but when I'm not doing so well, it's okay, because there is grace. As visual as I am, that chart really spoke to me and reminded me that I am constantly hopping back and forth between being proud of myself and being bitter. My choice never changed—leaning on myself. And Tina was right, we are constantly in this state of bitterness; it's by God's grace that we are doing well. Therefore, Jean, lean not on your own understandings, and delight yourself in the Lord.

So God is great in sending me people to remind me and rebuke me. Definitely without these, I cannot get out of my state of bitterness. He is really really good, like really really really good to me! The feelings from freshmen year is back, and during prayer gathering today, I could “feel” him standing next to me, and only this time I know it's different because the feelings are grounded in the words. I am happy, and I am really excited for what he's going to do this summer! Hopefully someday, when I stare at the ceiling, I will hear him say: “good job my faithful servant! I am pleased with your work :) .


Yay God!