submission

God is truly a loving and personal God. He knows what to say to me, and how to say to me to help me realize the whole in my pants. During break, I got a phone call from Andrea and when we were talking, I asked her if she was doing summer missions. I know she wanted to do it. But she needed to check with her parents. She told me after talking to her dad, she decided not to do it according to his suggestion. After the conversation and thinking about what she said i was really shocked about what she said. Not about the content, but about her attitude. I don't even remember when the last time was that I submitted to my parent's decisions. It's always :" hey mom, hey dad, I want to do this, so support me!" I was trying hard to pretend that I was all independent--coming to the US, deciding on schools and majors, pulling out my wisdom teeth.... Yet, they had to take the consequence of my decisions--huge financial burden, separation from the only child in the family....

Most of the times, to my mom, i tell her what I want to do, and I will agree to her suggestions if it goes along with my will, but if it doesn't i would fight until she says yes to my decisions, and looking back, there's no sign of submission at all. To my dad is even worse. I never told him what i was going to do. I always tell him what I did and all his can say was just "oh, okay, so how was it?" But God used that phone conversation to wake me up. He said: " stop living in the dream of you are an obedient child as all the others told you. You are not at all. Just look at what you did...." it was like cold water pouring down from my head, I was suddenly awake.

Thanks you God for showing me this, I took a first step by realizing it and facing it. Please help me with the latter steps of fighting it and perservering through it. i want to learn to submit to my worldly parents, so I could submit to you.