1. obedience--cuz I have none, I like getting things my way. If they don't turn out the way I want, I manipulate to get my way. I have to stop that and just obey God and follow His way.
2. Waiting--I am not patient; that's part of the reason why I don't obey. Just wait Jean, the best will come later. Don't settle for anything less than the best. Have faith and wait.
3. Discipline--I am soooo not disciplined. I can't even commit to small things like waking up for morning prayer. If I can't get up for MP to meet the most important person in my life, how am I suppose to commit to waking up everyday for work?
4. Pure heart to desire God--This is interesting, flipped through a friend's bible, and there were tones of markings and side comments inside, and one of them really hit me:
"Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on." Mark 2:4
"because of the crowd" was underlined and on the side, it said:"people get in the way." Yup, that's exactly what was happening to me. I put God behind the crowd and I couldn't get to him. But he was always there reaching out to me and He asked me:"Jean, what happened to the child of mine who just cared about me? Where did that child go?"
He wants to be loved by me. He desires me, and wants me to desire Him, too. So simple. However, I put the crowd between us. But he is showing me where I should be... I should be on the roof where I could see him. I should climb over the whole crowd cuz they don't matter. My eyes should be set on Him... and Him alone.
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